A Surprising Realization About Myself

I like to think I’m always going to learn new things about myself throughout my life that surprise me, but one that I never expected has occurred to me. It happened pretty much out of nowhere as I was thinking about how incredibly awkward I am and asked myself the same question I’ve been pondering on for years “why am I like this? How can a person just naturally be so unbelievably awkward all the time?” for the first time, I think I’ve stumbled across the answer. What’s this big revelation about myself? Simply put…. I am my father’s daughter.

My dad lived with us most of my life, moving out when I was 12 or 13 but he’s been around about as much as he was before and our relationship has basically been as nonexistent as always, until about last year when things somehow changed and our conversations got upgraded from a grand total of about 5 words total between us and could be held for about three to four minutes.

In short, I don’t really know my dad very well, I know what kind of music and TV shows he likes for seeing/hearing it growing up, I know he rides bikes, and I know he has a large Mormon family but isn’t a Mormon himself.  That’s basically it. When you compare that to how much I know about my mom… well lets put it this way I could write a very detailed book about my mother’s life from childhood up until today as to where I just summed up what I know about my dad in two sentences.

Like I said though, dad and I can hold conversations for a few minutes now, we actually just talked about music last night when waiting for mom. That conversation last night stuck out for me today when I was thinking about why I’m so awkward, if compared to every conversation I’ve ever had with him as well as observations of him with other people it’s pretty similar. It’s either genetic or I learned it from him. I’m probably one of the most awkward people on the planet, I’ve actually had people apologize for my awkwardness (which makes it worse). I think this comes from my dad.

The more I compare the two of us in our mannerisms it’s actually sort of weird how much like him I am, I always could see the similarities between myself and my mom but now I’m starting to see them between myself and my other parental unit…

I’m not really sure what to do with this information so I just thought I’d share it here. It genuinely surprised me when I realized this, I inherited or learned one of the biggest parts of my personality from the man I don’t really know very well but call my father. Kind of interesting to think about.

 

Thanks for reading,

-A

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